WiP #45 How to Pick Your Just-Right Bear
Choosing a Therapist/Guide for Psychedelic Journeys
🗂 This Week in Work in Progress
Status Update: I think it’s official: I am indeed a writer. Welcome to week two of my five-week foray into the world of psychedelic-assisted therapy!
Inspiration: Brave space is so much more meaningful than “safe space.”
Lighter Note: You just can’t go wrong with zoo puns.
🔔 Status Update
Second week into Write of Passage and second gigunda essay coaxed, cajoled, and coddled into existence. Whew! (Ok, it’s really a book chapter…more news on that soon.)
If you ever wonder if you truly love what you do, check if you’re able to forget time, food, and sleep in favor of flow. I think I’m done asking myself if I’m really a writer. Whether I’m good or bad at it remains up for grabs, but only a writer falls down this kind of rabbit hole happily.
Anyway…I continue my quest to help newbie and potential psychonauts traverse this delicate and mostly underground ecosystem, in search of healing and personal growth. The essay, How to Pick Your Just-Right Bear: Choosing a Therapist/Guide for Psychedelic Journeys, does what it claims plus more. It’s equally useful guidance for choosing a traditional therapist or coach, though the introduction of hallucinogens into the mix certainly ups the ante.
The essay is full of my animal friends – the duckies that you’ve heard about before and the bears – making their first appearance in one of my pieces. But mostly, it’s an impassioned plea to Take. Your. Time. finding a guide. Slow. It. Down. Safety first this far out on a tree branch.
These medicines mess with your mind, in a really good way – that’s how they heal. And the guides who accompany journeyers have nearly as much impact. You’ve really got to find the right fit – what I’m calling your just-right bear.
So, in this essay, I provide guidance on factors to consider in choosing a therapist/guide, juicy details about my very own just-right bear (Geoff Bathje, co-founder of Sana Healing Collective), and the backstory of how I found him.
I hope you’ll check it out.
Here’s an excerpt to wet your whistle…
To find your just-right bear, you’ll need first to understand the critical factors of Set and Setting and consider every candidate’s qualifications and quirks.
In textbooks and journals, set and setting are defined as completely distinct terms. But in practice, they’re enmeshed, influencing each other in both obvious and subtle ways. So, if you wind up confused about the difference as you read on, know that you’re in good company. Just relax into the general ideas. The essential point is that your guide impacts both and, in turn, is a key factor in the quality of your journey.
Set
Set refers to your mindset about this venture. So, ostensibly, it’s all about you and your thoughts. But preparation sessions are key to a successful journey. An excellent guide will attempt to support you rather than influence you. Her job is to help as needed in shaping your goals, aspirations, and intentions and to address any concerns and fears you may have. In doing so, your guide will impact your mindset. Pretending it isn’t so is just silly.
For instance, when I enter a journey feeling frightened of what might arise, my therapist, Geoff, helps me give voice to those fears and then reminds me to “trust, let go, be open” – the psychedelics mantra.
I’ve been in a different room with a different guide, who shut down any discussion of anxiety and insisted, instead, that I focus on my present-moment safety. In other words, she preferred that I disavow my actual feelings. That’s about as unhelpful as guidance gets. Trying to lock down my psyche while on drugs is futile and the effort often leads to an unpleasant experience, mired in resistance.
Note the difference: Geoff helps me meet my feelings – remain in relationship to those feelings, comfortable or not – and encourages me to trust that what’s happening is what needs to happen for healing to take place.
Instead of trying to talk me out of my fears, Geoff often reminds me to face the monsters I meet with curiosity – move toward instead of away. It’s in those frightful situations that the roots of pain are revealed and worked through so that emotional growth occurs. But I’d have trouble taking that tack without guidance.
This exemplifies two tools of a universal just-right bear: equanimous presence and scaffolding. It’s healing to be in a room with someone who calmly listens without adding their own crap to the mix. Someone who lends a hand to make the climb a little less steep. The journey becomes easier, but it’s still your own.
Yes, set is about your mindset, but it’s impacted by the company you keep.
Setting
Setting refers to both the physical and social context of the journey.
A pleasant, comfortable, safe environment leads to an open and relaxed mindset, so the space has considerable impact. Other aspects of the physical setting include music, aromas, and extraneous sounds. For example, it’s not unusual for me to have visions of a sunrise while a piece of music called ‘Sunrise’ is playing – despite the fact that I’ve never before heard the track and do not know its title. Blows my mind every time.
The social aspect of setting includes other participants in a group journey, medical providers who are present, and, most importantly, the therapist/guide. Note that the physical setting – including playlists – is a reflection of the guide’s personality and preferences. And your guide is the linchpin because she can quite literally mess with your mind.
This is no metaphor. On psychedelics (and in the days, weeks, and months that follow – long after the medicine has evaporated from your system), your brain is pliable. Multiple studies have demonstrated neuronal growth and the budding of new neural networks. We see the world – our past, present, and future – in novel ways, as if through fresh eyes. In this state of neuroplasticity, unforeseen possibilities emerge. The brain grows. And for most people, new behaviors follow. When things go well, this is precisely how we heal.
If you’re in the room with someone who doesn’t have your best interests at heart, lacks insight into their own impact, or simply isn’t the right fit, harm can result rather than healing. You don’t want that vulnerable brain of yours filled with new problems created by a bumbling bear.
I hope, at this point, you can see that set and setting are inexorably linked. The guide is literally defined as an element of setting, but invariably influences mindset as well. This fuzziness is fine, as long as you pick the right bear.
Curious about psychedelics? I’d love to hear all your questions and concerns. Please share. I’d love to know!!!
💡 Inspiration
“An Invitation to Brave Space”
Micky ScottBey Jones
Together we will create brave space.
Because there is no such thing as a “safe space” —
We exist in the real world.
We all carry scars and we have all caused wounds.
In this space
We seek to turn down the volume of the outside world,
We amplify voices that fight to be heard elsewhere,
We call each other to more truth and love.
We have the right to start somewhere and continue to grow.
We have the responsibility to examine what we think we know.
We will not be perfect.
This space will not be perfect.
It will not always be what we wish it to be.
But It will be our brave space together, and
We will work on it side by side.
You and your therapist/guide are creating brave space, because there is no room for “safe space” when you’re on a mission to grow. Pick the right companion and you will have an exhilarating ride, bumpy though it might be. Choose wisely.
That’s what this quote triggers in me. What does it say to you?
🤡 On a Lighter Note
Today, since I’m yapping about animals, I’ll regale you with zoo puns…
I met the love of my life when I visited the zoo. She was standing by the giraffe enclosure wearing her uniform. Straight away I knew she was a keeper. 🦒
Did you hear that Postman Pat was fired from his weekend job at the zoo? He wouldn't address the elephant in the room. 🐘
And my favorite…sound the trumpets 🎺🎺🎺… Last week a zookeeper left the gate open to the Panda enclosure and they all escaped. It was complete Pandamonium. 🐼
You’re welcome. 😜
Want more about psychedelics? Here’s your next read.
🎀 It’s a Wrap
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