🗂 This Week in Work in Progress
Status Update: Write of Passage ends and a crow teaches us how to cope with change.
Inspiration: Terry Pratchett asks us to decide what we are so that we’re ready to meet the moment.
Lighter Note: On friends, crows, and becoming friends with crows.
🔔 Status Update
Life moves on…as it does…
It’s a wrap on Write of Passage (WoP) – my writing course extraordinaire – and the mood’s a bit gloomy. Some of us have gathered on the mostly-vacant course platform to share the withdrawal pangs in community. It’s a bit like walking around a convention center after everyone’s left – the hollow echo of silence, bits of detritus everywhere, an aching sensation that only the cleanup remains. These few of us are clinging to each other, offering virtual hugs, atta-boys, and inspirational memes, as the giant fluorescent lights flicker, signaling coming darkness.
Drama queen, much???
It’s hard to go from five weeks of productive and communal intensity to crickets. Not knowing what will come next rocks the foundation of anyone paying attention. (I guess that’s the downside of mindfulness!) But more than the obvious question that people ask themselves (Will I keep writing?), the bigger question in such a tight-knit but short-lived group is this: Will these friendships last? Will they flourish in the absence of the container that birthed them?
Back in 2021, during my first round of WoP, I wrote about the aftermath of impactful life experiences – especially those that require considerable dedication. I addressed the pain of these events along with the self-care imperative. (The Letdown Lean In: Coping with the Psychological Smackdown After Life’s Big Events).
A couple of weeks later, I followed that essay with some sharp and negative words about change and my fears of losing my WoP community. (“Newsflash: ‘Change Sucks,’ says the founder of ‘Strategies for Change’…I hate change. Seriously, it is the worst.”, from Change and the Search for Community: The Letdown Lean In Revisited).
Some of my WoP relationships fell away. Others lasted for a time before fading. But the ones that were meant to thrive, did.
There’s a certain amount of trust required in building community.
In Buddhist and mindfulness circles, we talk about releasing attachment to outcome. That certainly – definitely! – does not mean letting go of effort. Relationship building and maintenance requires diligence, energy, and focused, loving attention. But we also must trust that what happens next is what needs to happen. It also means accepting whatever comes with grace – allowing life to flow on like the stream of circumstances it is. This is the time to unfurl grasping fingers. Meet life with an open palm versus a closed fist.
Fine, in theory…but how?
There’s a gigantic crow that started visiting me after WoP wrapped last Wednesday. He appears in the bright eastern sunlight of morning, a vantablack body contrasting the light. He flaps his huge wings and lands, proud as an eagle, on the wrought iron bars of my small, unadorned, 26th-floor balcony. And he waits there until he has my full attention before departing. I tiptoe over, eyes downcast in full deference, and share one glancing connection before liftoff.
For many, crows are the harbinger of death, probably because they’re easily confused with their blithe carrion brethren, ravens. That was beginning to be my fear roundabout visit number three.
But, in fact, crows are symbols of transformation and change – especially spiritual or emotional change.
These birds are thought to be the smartest animal other than primates (and just how smart humans are is still up for grabs IMHO). Crows are skilled problem-solvers and are able to evolve in light of new information and experiences. They build their own tools with whatever’s lying about and seem to enjoy solving puzzles. Crows remember human faces – those to approach and those to avoid. Crows are also jokesters in the lab – grabbing and flying off with scientists’ equipment and basically making humans play “fetch.” They are wise, skilled, fun, and funny.
Native Americans see the crow as a sign of good fortune and believe crows to be infused with wisdom. Crows are considered cleansers of the mind (and, more practically, of the land). Encountering a crow is said to be a message, rather than an omen. It’s up to us humans to properly interpret that real-life tweet.
My point is, I don’t mind taking advice from a crow.
I think my crow is telling me to cleanse my mind of worry. That transformation – of myself and my community – is coming. Well, in fact, it has arrived. And my job is to meet it like the supposedly skilled meditator (and supposedly intelligent human) that I am – with humility, acceptance, curiosity, and humor.
There’s a message for all of us here.
We are all faced with endings and, unlike a given session of WoP, they often arrive unplanned, unexpected, undesired. At these times, it’s incumbent on us to feel our feelings, seek the support of community, and open our hearts and minds to possibilities. Because every end is just a beginning in disguise.
Forward, friends of WoP. If we want our writing to continue… if we want these relationships to develop and grow… all we need to do is keep showing up. Open palm, people. Open palm.
Any new endings coming for you? New beginnings? Please share. I’d love to know!!!
💡 Inspiration
“At such times the universe gets a little closer to us. They are strange times, times of beginnings and endings. Dangerous and powerful. And we feel it even if we don't know what it is. These times are not necessarily good, and not necessarily bad. In fact, what they are depends on what *we* are.”
― Terry Pratchett from I Shall Wear Midnight
I love the fact that satirist sci-fi writer, Terry Pratchett, sprinkled his humor with so much depth. Sometimes, his words taste like dark chocolate sprinkles on confetti ice cream. Like a crow, Pratchett brought wisdom and humor to the world, hoping that we silly humans would be willing to see.
Every time you come to an ending – when you’re sure that your project, all that is good in the universe, or even life itself, is finished – there, in that very moment, lies a beginning as well.
The universe cuddles up and whispers in your ear, “This moment matters; Attend!” We do live in dangerous and powerful times, because all times are dangerous and powerful. Who will we be, when we meet life’s demands?
Who we are, in this moment and the next, determines whether the times turn out to be good or bad (or both…always, both!). So…what are we to be?
That’s what this quote triggers in me. What does it say to you?
🤡 On a Lighter Note
On friends, crows, and becoming friends with crows …
What we do for love…Comedian Cam Bertrand on hating his stupid best friend.
One of my friends suggested that I leave treats for my crow so we can develop a relationship. I didn’t want to bribe the massive creature but after watching this video, I’m thinking I may need a crow as a very special friend.
Check out the “gaggle of Oxford University scientists” befriending and studying Betty the crow and her buddies.
Want more on the power of communities in getting unstuck? Here’s your next read.
🎀 It’s a Wrap
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Until next week, take care of yourself and someone else if you’re able.
“My point is, I don’t mind taking advice from a crow.” 😅 Love the wit, and know the feeling.