WiP #52 The Value of Friendship in All its Forms 👫🏼 🥳 🫶🏻
WiP’s Anniversary + Reader Appreciation
🗂 This Week in Work in Progress
Status Update: Happy one-year anniversary, WiP. Here’s the highlight reel. Plus, deep appreciation for reader friendship.
Inspiration: Arthur C. Clark reminds us to shoot for the moon, then forge on to the stars.
Lighter Note: Revisiting a few WiP themes.
🔔 Status Update
My friends, today I’m celebrating Work in Progress’ first birthday! Won’t you join me? It wouldn’t exist without you.
🥳 💃🏻 🕺 🎉 🍾
52 issues ago, I didn’t think WiP would last a month. But here we are, nearly 10x the size of our first small cadre of readers. I’m so grateful that you’ve been with me on this ride.
This occasion has me contemplating why I write and revisiting my most frequent themes. We’ll have a look at where we’ve been in a moment. But what’s mostly on my mind is friendship – friendship in its multifarious, modern-age forms. Let’s talk a bit about both today: where we’ve been and the value of our friendship. Because I do think of each of you as a friend and I hope you consider me the same.
The Terrain We’ve Traversed
This weighted word cloud of our journey to date is somehow deeply satisfying. It’s like looking at a reflection of my mind. I recognize the habitat, the topography, the regions of slippery and stable ground.
I also see the human condition, which is fundamentally why WiP is such a labor of love. I’m not in this for fame or fortune (thankfully!). I write to better understand myself and my own journey. And I share these musings in the hope that my learnings can ease the way for you as well. Because this is the land we all traverse.
I like to think I’m clearing a path for others with all my mess and fuss, travails and triumphs.
Marcel Proust once said:
"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes."
My intention is to write with new eyes, in the hope of sparking your own startling discoveries.
Do you recognize yourself in this word cloud, too – both the current you and your aspirational self (the you you'd like to become)?
To help you consider that question, here’s a thematic breakdown of the journey…
Challenges, Resilience, & Community
Bolstering the therapeutic process and supercharging personal growth is my mission in all my work, including WiP. So this is where we’ve spent most of our time.
We’ve covered most of the major emotional challenges that humans face:
depression,
anxiety,
stress,
PTSD,
loneliness,
regret,
loss, and
grief.
We’ve even attended to the letdown effect and conquered it lovingly with the letdown lean-in (leaning into the loss of purpose – and endorphins – following the completion of a major life event).
At every step along the way, I’ve encouraged you to meet these difficult feelings and experiences with an open, willing, courageous heart. The techniques provided were meant to guide you through the process. We’ve been doing this work together, even if from afar.
We’ve also cultivated resilience so that the waves feel less choppy when these tsunamis of emotion hit shore. We’ve talked about:
Qi Gong and other forms of movement,
meditation and mindfulness,
art,
awe,
rest,
gratitude,
compassion,
communing with nature, and
cultivating friendship and community.
For many people, awe is the most accessible but least utilized tool in the shed. If you want to learn how to access what I call awe in the mundane, return with me to find bliss in a TV series’ 82-second title sequence: Apple TV’s Series Foundation: A Portal to the Healing Power of Awe. Or uncover awe through the dedicated resilience of powerful women athletes and innovative artists.
Yep, it looks like we’ve done a full systematic review of the human condition. 🤣
Travel, Therapy, & Psychedelics/Ketamine – Journeying Inside and Out
My life before COVID was all about travel. I lived as a nomad, constantly on the move.
Things have been rather hum-drum in the travel department since, but there are still so many tales to be told. They say that travel is the only thing you can buy that leaves you richer. I agree. And storytelling about the riches encountered spreads the wealth.
My favorite place is still Iceland because it probably saved my life while opening up new ways of considering natural beauty, community, and political fortitude. I invite you to return with me to the aurora borealis and Iceland’s other natural and nurtural wonders here.
In the past 18 months, most of my journeys have been internal.
I’ve mapped out my inner terrain, communing with my Parts. Joy, my 3-year-old creative wiz, is responsible for most of what you read. Distracto is the reason why I’m writing this hours before deadline rather than days ago. Its name tells you much of what you need to know. 🤣
To meet your own Parts, so you can love and welcome every little bit of you, start with this WiP issue on Internal Family Systems (IFS).
Psychedelic- and ketamine-assisted therapy supported my search for spiritual and creative expansion, plus relief of depression and PTSD. Many an expedition through the looking glass was had. I’ve appreciated your company on this quest. This is real-life Dungeons & Dragons, and you’ve spared me from going it alone.
With these medicines, it’s always safety first. So, if you’re psychedelics-curious, it’s good to start by dispelling some myths. This is the best place to begin.
Writing
I was surprised to see that writing took the gold for most-frequent tag. This certainly isn’t a writing blog per se. But WiP wouldn’t happen if not for writing (duh!) and my writing groups have sustained me in the process of finding my voice, my meaning, and my tribe.
Many of you are writers – of blogs, books, newsletters, or journals. Convincing you of the value of this endeavor is unnecessary, but I hope some of my own writing fueled new ideas and insights for your own creations.
For those of you who haven’t already been bit by the writing bug, I encourage you to give it a go. It clears the mind, corrects faulty thinking, and primes the creative juices. It can be wildly therapeutic. And please don’t demur. If you write, you’re a writer – even if it’s chicken scratch in a spiral notepad. Hit me up if you want guidance like prompts or processes.
And remember this:
“Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside them they’ve all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds. Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe.”
– Neil Gaiman
For help finding your creative muse (with tongue-in-cheek), here you go.
Upshot & Coming Attractions
We’ve been through pain and pleasure together. We’ve faced the past, focused on the future, and practiced living in the present moment – appreciating it all.
That’s a lot of ground to cover in a year.
As to the future…
I've been geeking out with research material on friendship, loneliness, and community in a way that only a nerd like me could enjoy. You’ll be reading all about it in a drip over the coming months.
For now, I want to underscore the importance of community in all its forms – including ours.
We all know by now that loneliness kills and community is both life-sustaining and enriching.
A few days ago, a review and analysis of 90 studies on social isolation, loneliness and mortality, covering more than two million people, was published. The results sure aren’t pretty. I’ll outline the specific need-to-knows soon, but suffice it to say that we must take care of ourselves and others by contributing to a sense of community everywhere we wander.
Social bonds increase longevity and wellness while protecting aging brains. A strong social network has the potential to preserve brain structure as we age, providing a potential preventive strategy for dementia onset. Yes, you read that right. Friendship appears to keep structures in the brain intact, including the hippocampus (the area most important for memory).
But what exactly is friendship? Does your idea of a friend equal mine? Unlikely. It turns out that there are nuances here that depend on our family background, cultural influences, the general environment, and individual genetics (yes, genetics!).
One thing I know for sure: Three years ago “friends” were people I spent a bunch of time with IRL over the course of years. Now, friendship has broadened to include many people I’ve never once met IRL, have shared vulnerability with, and admire/respect/love deeply. We met in Zoom boxes and chats in the midst of courses, meditation groups, political and social justice events, work-related study and, only occasionally, IRL. The times, they are a-changin’. True for you, too?
I said earlier that I think of you as my friend. How could I not?
You’re privy to some of the most intimate (and sometimes illegal) experiences of my life. I’ve let you into my world and my heart. Some of you have expressed that my experiences and my teachings have broadened your skills, self-assessment, and personal growth. And many of you have reached out to let me into your worlds in response to my own vulnerability. Deepening discussion ensued.
How could this not be a form of friendship?
Anyway, I want you to know that you are loved and appreciated…because you truly are.
Thank you for joining me on this journey.
Note
I’m taking a week off for a bit of R&R. Hah!!! Fooled you, didn’t I? Just kidding.
I’ll actually be in an Internal Family Systems (IFS) training intensive as I work toward my certification. Love this stuff!
I’ll see you back here in two weeks.
What topics do you want me to cover next? Should I narrow my focus or continue writing with a wide lens? Please share. I’d love to know your thoughts and be responsive to your needs!!!
💡 Inspiration
“The moon is the first milestone on the road to the stars”
― Arthur C. Clarke
Lovely. Let’s just say we’ve soared to the moon in year one. In year two, we head to deep space. Get ready for a glorious ride!
That’s what this quote triggers in me. What does it say to you?
🤡 On a Lighter Note
Revisiting themes …
I’ve talked a lot about art and awe in WiP. There’s a woman in Britain who takes action creating both. Artist Tash Frootko transforms entire streets in Gloucester by painting all the houses bright colors. It sparks joy + increases property values! 🌈 ✨
Not long ago, I bowed in reverence to Dolly Parton as she switched musical genres and released the first track of her first rock album. This week, she released two more songs. 👸 🎶
At this point, y’all know I have a thing about ducks. Well, at least I’ve never gone on a run with one! Watch this duckling keep up. 🏃🏻♂️ 🦆
Another topic we’ve visited a lot is travel. Join me in wishing France’s Mont Saint-Michel, a medieval abbey, a very happy 1000th birthday! This magnificent island citadel is a site to behold. Even prettier than WiP. 🏰 🎂
🎀 It’s a Wrap
A warm thank you for reading and a hearty welcome to all new subscribers. I’m so glad you’re here!
I appreciate your feedback on Work in Progress. If you leave a comment, know that you’ll win a brand-new iPad…ahem…I mean…I’ll be your bestie? No, really, let’s be friends. Let me know if this was helpful or how I could make it more so. I promise to respond.
If Work in Progress resonates with you, I'd be grateful if you tell a friend to subscribe.
Until next week, take care of yourself and someone else if you’re able.
You’ve shared so much great content with us this last year. Congratulations!
Congratulations on your anniversary! What a testament to your dedication and commitment to yourself and your readers! I’ve bookmarked three of your linked articles to read later! I so value your take on the world!